Letter to my son

Well today was not a very good day. I have no excuse other than there must be something wrong with me. Dj and I seemed to fight over everything all day today. No matter what it was it was a fight. I feel so bad about it that I just want him to know that I love him with all my heart and soul and would give my life for him. I can't seem to say it so that he understands now so maybe in the future he will read this and truly understand how much I do love him and only want the best for him. So with that being said here is my letter.

Letter to a wonderful son

Dear Dominic,

I just wanted to write you this letter to let you know just how much I love you. I know that as a teenager you think mom's don't know anything and all is right in your world. This is something I know you will grow out of and see just how much that is not true. I want you to take from this letter the knowledge that I am not a perfect person or parent. That I love you and have always only wanted one thing for you. That is to be happy.

Even as a young girl I always said that I only ever wanted two children. First a boy and then a girl. So you can only imagine how happy I was when the doctor told me that I was having a little boy. Sure I was young and probably should have waited at least a couple more years before getting pregnant but at that moment I couldn't have been happier. I was even more happier ( if that is at all possible) the day I had you. The first time I held you in my arms ( and was aware of it) I couldn't believe that something so beautiful came from me and I couldn't understand how I could love you so much and with all my soul when I had just met you. You made all my dreams come true at that moment in time. I know all this sounds silly now but when you have a child and hold him/her in your arms for the first time you will understand. I remember your first bath and the first time you walked and the first time you talked and the first time I heard you say those four little words that meant the world to me. I LOVE YOU MOMMY. My heart melted all over again. I even remember one time when you had done something wrong and I put you in the corner for time out. You turned around, tears in your eyes, and said to me " Mom you are breaking my heart." I just about fell out of my chair laughing. I couldn't very well continue to keep you in time out after that. So I sent you to your room instead. You were only two and I couldn't believe those words had just came out of your mouth. To this day I still don't know where you heard that from or if it was really how you were feeling but I will always remember it.

Over the years we have had our good days and our really bad days but through it all you have grown into such a wonderful young man. I know we have our up's and down's and we fight more than we should but despite all that happens between us in the end you are still my little boy. And I still hear those words in that little voice saying I love you mommy. It breaks my heart when you are in pain and I can't do anything about it or when it is my fault that you are feeling that way. I want nothing in this world to harm you and I know that is not possible but as a mom it's just the way I feel. I want you to continue to grow and become the man that I know you are capable of becoming. I want you to be a better parent than I was to you and I want all of your dreams to come true. I want every experience in your life to be a rich and fulfilling one. I want you to love a woman and have lots of beautiful children and get to feel the kind of love that a parent feels for a child. It is the best feeling in the world.

I know that things are hard and life is not easy and sometimes there is pain when you really don't want it. That we have to do things that are hard and boring and we really don't want to do but we go on doing them to get to the end result. The prize at the end of the rainbow so to speak. I know that in the end you will see that everything that we have gone through together both the good and the bad were for a good reason and that even the stupid fights and the yelling back and fourth that through it all I loved you. It may not always seem that way but its true. You are my world and without you in it my life is not complete. I am SORRY for all the disagreements that we go through and the fighting that happens. It is something that your non-perfect mother has to work out on her own. I try my best with the experiences and knowledge that I have at the time. I promise to always work harder at our relationship and to always let you know that no matter what, you are the light of my life. I thank God each and everyday that I have such a wonderful son in my life. I don't know where I went right to have gotten you. I love you more than you will ever know and I just hope that one day you will look back on this letter and know that it came from my heart. That you are loved. That you are a very special gift from God sent strait to me. I love you my son.

Love your loving mom,

Mom