So today started off with me waking up to the kids screaming at each other at the top of their lungs at 6:30 in the morning. Yeah not a happy mom. Finally I got whatever was the problem fixed and sent them off to school. I had Isiaha over night so I got him up and dressed and fed breakfast then let him play and watch his morning shows. James finally got him at about 1:00. After that I just hung out until Dale got up and then we spent some time together until he left to go get a message. We he got back the kids were home and we needed to run an errand in Springfield. On our way back home Dale said something about it being Thursday and I remembered that I had my parenting class tonight. I told him thanks for reminding me and we headed over to the church.
Now for the Parenting part. Tonight was on the love language and Parenting 101. Basically we talked about the fact that everyone has a love language. This is where you get you love from such as I am the type of person who really loves to be touched and have positive encouragement all the time. It really fills my love bank so to speak. Dale is also positive encouragement with a slight bit of touch. So the plan is to try and figure out which one you kid is.
There are 5 total. The first being...words of encouragement. The second being...quality time. The third being...gifts. The fourth being...acts of service. And fifth being...touch.
Then we also talked about really listening to your children when they are upset. Not trying to fix the problem or talk but just really listen. Then once they are done they feel better and can solve the problem themselves. Which is what they need to do.
We also talked about the F.A.B. system, I Feel....About....Because. Example.... I FEEL terrible ABOUT the the fact that you ate all the sandwiches that I made for my dinner party tonight BECAUSE now I have nothing to serve my guests.
We talked about sending I messages instead of You messages. I messages focus on your feeling while You messages focus on the child's behavior and the get defencive.
We talked about REFRAMING situations to make them positive.
We also talked about how this generation is so use to everything being given to them instead of them having to earn it that they are just gliding by under the bar instead rising to it. So in turn If you REQUIRE more of your children then they PRODUCE more. Meaning for example....Instead of giving your kids cloths all the time make them earn the money and THEY have to buy their own cloths. Which personally I think is a great idea. Then of course they will be more likely to take care of their things rather than trash them without thought. Also to create an environment RICH with opportunities.
Another thing is the Pay off has to be greater than that of selfishness...Example...AS SOON AS YOU finish cleaning your room properly THEN you can go out and play with you friend. Or something to that effect.
Anyway that was the sum of what we talked about. There of course was a ton of other things that were talked about but these things really stuck out at me. I am really learning a lot from this class and I am so glad that it is being offered.
Well I am pooped so I am going to bed....Blog at you later.
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